It is
necessary ... for a person to go away by himself ... to sit on a rock ... and ask,
'Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going? ― Carl Sandburg
In this chaotic life-style it is
very unlikely that I find time to introspect. I intend to keep going and going.
Waiting for none and in some contorted way waiting forever for everyone. As I'm
never satisfied, I guess nobody is. Wish list keeps growing and I keep making
appends and amends. My own mind is like an unsafe neighborhood, I seldom go
there for help. I read and observe others, learn from others, often mimic those
whom I find perfect. Introspection is something I avoid, knowingly or
unknowingly I don't know. As Toba Beta's
heart my heart too fails to see its own sins.
What I'm so frightened of ? Why I seek solace in others ? Am I so frightened to look inside, to go deep inside that I keep floating on the fringes ? Sometimes I guess I should interact more, not with others but myself. I should dive deep into this unexplored territory and descend into this cold abyss of myself.
What I lost
what I found
too lavishly or too little
on the way, as I move around
Merry-go-rounds of
connections, webs in which I seems to lost
separations, that are caustic
even if small was the cost
I complain to no one, complain none
though, deceit was lurking
on every turn
but, sometimes it was fun
I look back and see
shed some leaves off of my memory
tale of every small town, every city
some appreciated, others pitied
Whispering unto my own ears
what's good and what's bad
how much I'm happy
how much my scale flips for sad
Whispering mutely, meant for none
better not to ponder on many but one
defining my own, unexampled
theory of funk and fun..
The
mind becomes much more beautiful,
when man could see his own weaknesses.
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity
