Not Quite What I Was Planning

Like everyone else I plan things. I make a luxuriant list of the things I wanna do and invest an awful amount of energy while doing so. Envisaging minute details and keeping track of all possible backdrops and outcomes. I keep changing them too ( sometimes very often) and loose my way in the  process. This brain of mine always finds itself pregnant with new ideas and associated plans. A slight change in the context and the whole plan goes in flush and a new baby plan is conceived. As Sarah sDessen says - 
"you can't just plan a moment when things get back on track, just as you can't plan the moment you lose your way in the first place"

There are things I can never plan or to put it other way, there are times when all my plans just fail. It doesn't mean I'm a bad planner or some hapless fellow with poor management skills. I do all that can be done. I cross every Ts and dot every Is. But, in spite of all that details and contingency planning something goes wrong.

I had every thing covered 

plot was thick,

my planning too.

steel-proof  it was

I was sure. 

Things can go wrong 

I knew what to do.

I had contingency plans 

at hand 

but sometimes clock ticks 

too fast to comprehend.

Never saw it coming. 

Opponent was too quick 

to grab.

I find him oddly familiar

and very strange

then I realized

It was no one but Me.

I planned everyone else

everything else

except that chaotic 

turbulence inside Me.

Somehow I myself

was responsible

for this blunder spree. 

I couldn't plan distractions

I found them on my way 

I couldn't plan the 

randomness that goes on

every single day.

I thought I was in control

of every moves I may make

or every word 

my fluky mouth may say . 

We often find ourselves doing something else then we actually planned. The impregnable shell we create for ourselves by meticulous planning suddenly melts away. You feel tempted to deviate and do things differently and may be sometimes despite that you turn back and stick to the plan. But, such decisions exist everyday and you have deal with then on regular basis. With time

You learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn...
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
And you learn that you really can endure... 

 ~Veronica A. Shoffstall