I'm Nobody, Who are you?

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there's a pair of us?
Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!
― Emily Dickinson

I'm nobody

inside something's burning, maybe

it's my rage, swelled with no outlet

it dances, round and round it goes 

never halts, no one's to stop

where it will go

how it will leave 

nobody knows, not me.

I'm nobody

there's a voice that seeks  medium 

expand and diffuse in natural ways

but I scream so quietly, a hush 

echoes within, rises, simmers

where this all will fly 

how this all will settle down

nobody knows, not me.

I'm nobody 

there's a crave to punch so hard 

fight till last, till this beating heart

leave a mark, a scar, all to see

carrying the sky in my fist

where to discharge 

how to know, to be sure

nobody knows, not me. 

what you perceive of this world of mine 

what you equate between you and me

I keep searching, it goes wide

but what I'm searching

where I'm searching

how can anybody know but me

is it everybody's tale

I'm nobody..

We need much less than we think we need

Satisfaction, contentment.... these BIG words are so much in talks these days.  You sit down with a bunch of guys and in some way or the other you'll end up using these words once and again. I don't have AC, it's too hot, my apartment is bad, my family sucks, neighbors are too nosy, I have no friends,  no job, no clothes, washing-machine screwed... and what not. Kvetching round the clock and trying to quench perpetual  thirst for little more comfort.

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.

~Lao Tzu

We  just can't get out of it, can we ?  We are stuck so deep in our self created swamp of comfort that outside world is alien for us. We feel perplexed when exposed to the glimpses of stark reality.  Do we really need all this decorum and panache to feel happy and content?  Does flaunting of leisure life and lavish habits  make us feel any better ?

Leaning against my window

oblivious  to the ever hustling world

there was so much rush-- in my midget world

in a jiff I peeked outside

d o w n p o u r , big heavy drops

gushing down, plop, plop

frantically running poor fellows

scudding to hide

HIDING, wherever they can

Muddy, soggy all soppy outside

there was this shack

dripping, all sides, lives there

a couple with three kids, drenched

felt terrible seeing this, I care

I went to doze off, only if I could

I'd go down to check on them

stop you dang  rain, you should

I went down..

Distressed, about their whereabouts

where they will lay down ?I doubt

looked furtively in the shack

still dripping, not a soul inside but me

I was in a bind, then only I saw

wide-opened was my jaw, they were sleeping

safe and sound, in the shade

oblivious to the outside world

left me astound, I just stare them :O

Next day at the crack of dawn, I was awake

that family was half done with their day

morning meal was done, they were ready to sell

balloons, all filled, ready to Go in all colors

red , green, blue, orange, pink and yellow

I think my life sucks, nobody gives a damn

now, when I think of them, so many faces

no names, I question myself and places

Questioning ???

From where I stand

they live so low, yet so poised and content

maybe they are, maybe not

but little I do know now

they demand little, need so less

peace of mind, where have you gone? when I see

mirror every day, why can't I ?

That family living in the shack is struggling every day for their survival. I guessed they needed help and I had it all wrong. They don't worry about rain, or about some status to maintain, they prepare their food wood-fired in less than an hour, they lay down on bare concrete road, watching those twinkling stars and moonlight molting their loads.

I was worrying about them, huh, now I worry about myself..

Oo Simple thing where have you gone ??

Beginnings

Brain the most knotty and intricate object to understand. I don't even dare to learn how it processes zillions of things simultaneously. One moment you are thinking of this and BOOM... next moment something else totally unrelated and discrete. All this happens in fraction of seconds... Well this post has nothing to do with functioning or facts of brain.... so those who hate biology and its details can harmlessly continue further :P 

Point is-> We think a lot, we plan in loads. Gotta  do this n that. Need to buy this, need to learn that song, try that piece of music, to get a dress, need to finish the book, complete the syllabus  and list can go on like some never ending railway tracks. I don't know about you all but scads of my time exhausts in trying to decide Now, What next and than whole planning and soi-distant thought process starts all over again. 

 Biggest hiccup is the BEGINNING.

[ Biggest road block]- is to get started, not at all easy to cross. Whether you wanna start substantiating a time table, an exercise, a book or anything. This initial callow phase is the time when you are more likely to leave it and hop to some another one. [ I've lost the count of the times I've started going for morning walk...... initial fun days and than... well rest is better left unsaid :P]. Getting started is fine, but to keep that pace and carry on further is the real catch. Darn those days when the whole enthusiasm and zeal withers and you end up with squat.  

The beginning is the most important part of the work- Plato.

I think, I start

I train my brain 

to begin.

But, then again 

the train of thoughts 

kicks its engine 

and lefts me 

wandering in the voids

Keep Thinkin.. 

I've an infinite store

Of placebos and excuses.

This brain is inured

it never confuses .

I plan, I proceed

I train my brain 

to begin.

But the bells

of "new things"

Keep Ringin..

I can go on
I don't.
Games of push and pull
and paper, scissor, rock.
I puzzle, I daze

I train my brain 

to begin.
Time pass by
and hands of the clock
keeps Tickin..

Beginning is the stage 

hard as nails I guess. 

Its cryptic

tough to stick. 

I devise, I decide

I train my brain 

to begin.

But, this time

train got brakes 

It got a driver

I'm the one who 

is Drivin... 

Well habits can change. If our benighted ancestors can learn to tame wild animals, I think we can train our fiendish brain to behave in our own terms. I'm gonna try at least. 

So you guys ever faced this much touted problem of -getting started and than keeping it up ???

Never Satisfied...

Desires,Aspirations

Expectations,Ambitions

Your Thirst and hunger

Can never be satisfied 

Every time 

You can simply 

Restart or Fight

No one touches perfection

Until one sits on top 

Of the hill of mistakes 

With a bag of 

Corrections and retakes 

Somehow learned to sense 

Victory  in both

Hearten and deject

Numerous Trojan wars to win

Repent for all wrongs and sins 

But still unsatisfied 

You Look forward 

Blank and Wide-eyed

Desire of "little more"

You can barely ignore 

A hint, this feeling growing 

In blood, in vein

with each pint.

You move again 

To attain a new perfection 

Just an another milestone 

Added to the road of 

"Satisfaction".