How shall I judge what to do in such times?

“It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels. The world is all grown strange...How shall a man judge what to do in such times?'

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers  

How shall I judge what to do in such times?

Floating clouds resembling things
Feeling of fragrance springs
Activating a dormant space
Like receiving a faint signal
I remember with love and ache
From a lost satellite
today

Peeping in to the yesteryears
A sudden throbbing I fear
Scores of things that gone by
On pinning down each evening
Carefree days beside you
Is all that I yen for
today

My hands grew so big
Yours shriveled down a bit
We both are aging apart
Pieces of old puzzle play
Unfolding slowly each day
But nothing makes sense
today

Many things to confirm
No reference for the same
Of all the roads I have gone
Each needs you by my side
Never admitting this aloud
As it may hurt our pride
today


What difference 
I say yes or no
Bittersweet answer
'Yes' makes sense
'No' is better
Both are true
today

I dream my painting and I paint my dream.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.

― Sylvia Plath

© Iva Borisova

Am I chasing dreams in circles?
One ends another starts
Beginning after the end
I fancy many faces
Each peculiar than other
To live so many lives
Each different than another
Can I swim in all the oceans?
Not all at once, but
Maybe one at a time.

Yes I crave all of it
Lights sounds visuals and touches
No strings of times and spaces
Across the length and breadth
Height thickness contrast and bright
All of it runs in circles
Concentric and conjoined
Can I mill around them all?
Not all at once, but
Maybe one at a time.
 

I've Just Seen a Face

When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.

― John Green, Paper Towns 

One fine day, an ordinary day it was
expecting nothing more than usual chores
my room bathed with mild sunshine 
sight that I routinely adored
chirping birds and the cool breeze
swinging all around at ease

Daytime is pleasant 
not as much as  mornings are 
I rode out for college
when my watch crossed 12th hour 
I got stuck in a jam , a heavy one
on top of my head a scorching sun 

More misery on the way to tell
honking cars and sweaty smell
it was more like a road to hell
all over the place, people, people
always people making  sorry face
self-inflicting what I call stress

Just ahead of me there was a bike 
in seat of two seated were three
I spotted two eyes peeping right at me 
unsettling it was and I chose  not to pay heed
she looked like some teenage girl  to me
but, by the looks of her she was married 

I turned up my head to look far ahead 
and I saw those eyes scanning me yet again 
ohh she was stuck and I was dazed 
kept staring my bag pack and  bike unfazed
when her eyes met mine, she just shied away
Curious me, am I dressed in some funny way

I checked myself two times 
traffic crawled and frustration so high
struggling men to move ahead in line
I caught her again, yes again
when she was gazing at the tee that I wore
now things were beyond my ignore

I signaled her- is something wrong ?
she again sighed away in response 
I observed her from head to toe
her countenance, man she was with 
donned in a shimmery saree 
her pallid face lacked in glow

I bet she was younger than me 
and I sensed somber in her eyes
she was shouldering something heavy
her discontented face said it all 
somehow, now I knew 
why she was enthralled

For her I was like that fancy painting on a wall
placed at such a height that outgrew her
and she was never so tall.
Guess I was a free bird for her 
though she wasn't hooked or restrained
some handcuffs are never in view, but sensed

I was so close to inquiring about her
she was an enigma to me, that mysterious girl
I came back home and looked up in sky
peeved by her nonplussed look and gaping eyes
for that girl, poor thing,  my heart ached
how she fancied for things she never had 

Sometimes I feel so discontent and distraught 
her suspired face forced in me a second thought.

Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
― Henry Miller

In Control

There are things which are in our control and then there are so many which are not. I believe the list of latter will be a lot longer then the former one, because that's how we all feel.. trapped, controlled like some lifeless puppets of some show. But, in spite of all that, we all have a healthy appetite for having CONTROL in our lives. Since the men (and women) have stepped up in the ladder of evolution 'control' over almost everything has been the bone of contention and, with no exceptions, everyone wants to taste it. If not absolute then even a small bite of it works too. 

Desire to have control over decisions, resources, people around you (specially the related ones), ideas (and everything else a human mind is capable of conceiving of) is the reason of what we are today and what we are capable of doing. Civilizations been flourished, great Kings walked this very earth on which you and I are standing, we have public administration, we live in a society, we have constitution, we negotiate, we trade, we follow rules, we have our own codes n procedures...  WHY ?? Because someone, somewhere had this idea of  having some CONTROL.

What's the world's greatest lie?... It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.

~Paulo Coelho

Why do we always crave for having Control.. or are we always controlled by others.. Does someone else holds the script of your actions or is it altogether a different tale ??

In control, 

of the things you do,

or you will.

Is someone else holding the pen ?

when you indite,

or it's you, who is guiding you.

Variables and attributes

grants, adjustments or rebukes 

all that's happening around..

is a part of Grand Design 

or it's just you. 

Who decides what's redundant 

what's not ?

roam around, fly free

or sit in a place and rot. 

Distracting puzzling ideas

to confuse,

or the building blocks 

of the road you choose.

Strings are pulled up 

or pushed down

difference, hardly counts.

All the path that leads here 

has been crafted by you 

nothing's a chance 

it's all what you muse 

There are times when you feel 

satisfied and content,

sometimes, you just pretend. 

Napolean rightly says- You are the master of your destiny. You can influence, direct and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be. All you need is 'CONTROL'. 

A College Vagabond

The World Is Too Much With Us

DREAMS

DREAMS we all have one or may be many and there's no lower or upper bounds. Squeeze or expand, totally a personal choice. It keeps us going. Dreams forms the rock foundation of our aims and goals for which we work all the time. Everything we do is to bridge this gap that exist between the dream and reality. If anyone tells you he/she doesn't have one. Shake that thought off of your mind, because it's impossible. 

Realm of dreams is colorful, vivid and vibrant and it's beyond anyone's comprehension. A daily wage labor wish to have a one-time meal and he/she works whole day long to get that. Cars, home, job, gadget, position, power, love, peace, trophy and what not. Its everything you ever wished for and than you devise elaborate plans and tricks to get that. Like your personal brand of paradise where you have everything you can ever crave for.

Your whole life revolves around it. Schedules and routines, your reading habits, music, movies and everything else are just stepping stones. Helping you in different ways to have that taste of satisfaction. You are working for that round the clock consciously/unconsciously.

There are times when you feel lost and blue. Disoriented you wander here and there and then somebody or something gives you inspirational kick. For some, other factors work too. Anger or desperation can work in favor in such situations. All you need is control and focus and then you're back in race. 

I am numb but i can still feel you
Sometimes I’m blind but I see you
You are here but so far away.

I’m on a course of collision
Am not about to give in
Can’t explain my position or the condition that I’m in.

Where I am is no limit, no walls, no ceilings
No intermission, so let the Party begin ~ Enrique

Words are powerful. No one can deny that. They have this extreme power of persuasion. One can come out of any misery with the help of some spoken or written words. Motivation is the biggest driving factor to achieve your dreams and one should keep taking it in bits n pieces from time to time. Don't let your dream get covered with rust and dust.

Your swords grown old and rusty
Burnt beneath the rising sun
Its locked up like a trophy
Forgetting all the things its done ~ Vampire Weekend

One poem that has inspired me in past few days is

Invictus- William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 

I am working hard for my dreams and I wish that all of you do the same and we all will live our dreams in reality. :)