No Song Of Certainty

I'm Stubborn, When I Know I'm Right

Stubborn is what I'm labeled with when I stand resolute on something I think is right and just. Often I think I know everything there's to know about a certain thing. I make up my mind and am very clear about the way I feel about it. There are no doubts, no arguments entertained. Like those permanent crease that are imprinted in my hands I know there aren't going to be any alterations. My sagacities are well defined and there's little scope for any change. 

Only if things were so straightforward. Only if I wasn't a human and didn't have this capacity of being molded by the circumstances and people around. Only if unlearning and casting off was an option and this grey matter inside my head was not growing. Only if I wasn't maturing with each passing year and starting to realize that the colors in visible spectrum of my cerebrum keeps growing and there will never come a time, not now, when I can be completely right and wrong. There will always be perspectives and circumstances to weigh in. There's nothing like certainty. I'm never going to be certain again.

Every time he tried to reconstruct the internal arguments that had led to his decision, they sounded feebler to him.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Young me, certain, confident

life seemed easy, comfy, cheery

less I knew, knew what I had to do

what wasn't fine, what wasn't right

when I was or wasn't alright

sketches I drew, so many

only pencil I used, shades so uncanny

differences easy, light and dark

easily marked, in and out so stark.

Stubbornness-my way, I recall

no paradoxes, when I flew I didn't fall

never I gave a second thought

there was no point of coming back

I knew I was coursing the right track

again sketches I drew, so many

some colors I used, used so barely

canvas was scrambled, seems what I got

was some misconstrued blueprint of a plot.

I grew, spent more time

seen, litany of complaints and crimes

like everyone else, peccant mortal I am

exposed to the tableau of right and wrong

seen rise and fall of both weak and strong

sketches that I make now, colors so many

polychromic in feel, sensuous so scenery

judgments are blurred now, ever a scope for things

insatiable life now, engulfing whatever it brings.

Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.

~Tony Schwartz

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